Mamadama

I want to share a story about a patient named Mamadama.  She came to the ship with a large goiter.  First I better tell you a little about West African goiters.  A goiter is a neck mass.  Usually the mass is due to the thyroid gland growing abnormally large.  At home, a surgeon can remove part or all of the gland while it is still pretty small, but here, they just grow bigger and bigger.  When this happens, it can push on the trachea, which left untreated, makes it difficult and then impossible to breath.  An enlarged thyroid can also make it difficult for the blood from the head to return to the heart, which is bad news.  So, Mercy Ships has been doing goiter surgeries to prolong our patient’s lives and also help them cosmetically.  The thyroid gland produces a necessary hormone, so the patient must take medications and have blood tests in the weeks leading up to the surgery.  Then a general surgeon removes part, half or the entire thyroid gland.  Dr. Collins, a surgeon who was here for two weeks, gave a lecture on thyroids last week.  He told us that it is a delicate surgery because of the location of the thyroid gland.  There are many considerations.  The patient’s airway, the tiny parathyroid glands, major arteries and veins and some pretty important nerves that control swallowing and breathing must all be kept intact. 

So, back to Mamadama.  It takes a lot of courage in a place like Guinea to take off the neck scarf and show the surgeons and staff a deformity, but she did.  After being followed outpatient for blood work, she was admitted to A Ward for surgery.  She said that her family did not want her to come to the ship, because they were afraid that she would die.  So, on her admission day, she just left the house without telling them where she was going.  Once admitted, the physicians decided to postpone her surgery to review the radiology results which showed a severely deviated trachea.  Mamadama stayed a few extra days on the ward while waiting for surgery.  The surgery day came, and she went off to the operating room.  We knew that it would be a difficult procedure and intubation, so before the shift we prayed for her.  A few hours after leaving for the operation, we heard from the OR that they were not able to intubate her after almost three hours of trying, so they decided to stop and take some time to consider other options.  At this point, Mamadama was told that she had two options.  Either a tracheostomy could be placed for surgery (and removed a few days later) or she could have nothing done, shortening her life expectancy considerably.  She came back to the ward looking withdrawn and tearful.  Mamadama had a big decision to make.

It seems like easy enough decision… what we’re offering here is free.  Why wouldn’t she take it?

Fear.  Having surgery is a scary ordeal, even in the Western World.  Add to it the anxiety of being placed in new surroundings, with people you’ve never met, being poked for blood repeatedly, being asked about your bowel movements and told to take medications at a certain time. For Mamadama, she had to add the idea of breathing through a plastic tube in her neck and being unable to speak for a few days.  I think any patient would be anxiety ridden. 

I’ve been thinking about my own story and how it relates to Mamadama’s experience.  This verse really speaks to me, and I like the Message translation.

Hebrews 4:12-13 states, “God means what he says.  What he says goes.  His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey.  Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word.  We can’t get away from it- no matter what.  Now that we know what we have- Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God- let’s not let it slip through our fingers.  We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.  He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all- all but the sin.  So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give.  Take the mercy, accept the help.” 

God tells us that he sees us.  For Mamadama, He saw past the goiter, a source of shame in this culture.  He saw her beautiful smile, the way she loves her children and grandchildren.  God also saw her fear of the surgery and her surroundings, her hope that the surgery would be successful, and her bravery for coming to the ship.  For me, I know that He sees the kindness and love in my heart.  He also sees the ugly parts that hold on to past mistakes, shame and the hurtful things I’ve said and done. Whether or not I share these things with God in prayer, He sees all of it.  Yet, God offers comfort because He knows what it feels like to be weak and tempted.  He offers mercy and grace for free.  So why is it so hard for me to come to Him?  What He offers is free, why wouldn’t I take it? 

It’s scary, that’s why.  It takes a lot of courage to uncover your imperfections.  I imagine it took guts for Mamadama to take off the neck scarf when she was first screened for surgery.  She had to become completely vulnerable to her surroundings to have the goiter removed.  Mamadama allowed Dr. Collins to perform an operation on her neck, even though the surgery had been postponed twice.  She knew that when she woke up, she wouldn’t have the ability to speak up for herself for several days.  It must have been terrifying.  The day of the surgery came, and after many prayers for her, she did great!  Just a couple of hours after surgery, she was pointing to her hand mirror, smiling and giving a big thumbs up.  Now, the tracheostomy tube has been removed, her neck looks beautifully smooth and she is so grateful for her surgery.  She can’t wait to go home to show her family!  Mamadama inspires me because she was willing to be so vulnerable. 

My friend Emily posed this question to me: "What is one thing that you have learned about God that won't leave you?" I have learned how intimately God knows His people. The bones and the marrow, the hate and the love, the spirit and the soul, the dreams and desires, He sees all of it.  I am learning that there is no reason to hide.  Although it is scary to be open and honest about the crummy things in life, God knows what it's like, He can relate.  I can walk right up to Him and receive mercy and accept help. Asking for help, no matter the cost, is hard.  I’m learning how to do that too.